We'll hello there! Here we are, only 80 more days until the official ShelleyWed, adding another project to our very full plate. Many of you are interested in the planning process, know that we take on self inflicted creative challenges, and then request that we share the outcome with you later. So, at the suggestion of so many of you, we are now attempting to embark on maintaining a blog about our interesting, frugal, and creative wedding planning process.
It's a good idea, really, to keep a blog. There is soo much going on that I'm kicking myself for not starting sooner. It almost feels like it's a little too late. But I digress. Please bear with me as I spew what has happened to date in a disorderly fashion, then fix the typos later, or never... that would be just another project.
I'll begin by attempting to share everything from start to....well, this will never be done as we have a whole life ahead of us. So, stay tuned in!
Don't mind the posting dates as I'm trying to work my way backwards until I'm all caught up.
The Ask
Where did it all begin..... oh yes! When he asked and I said "YES!" The world spun and the wheels started churning. I haven't slept since that day (which will happen to be one year and two months by the time we get married). I am very in love and very sleepy.
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| San Francisco Trolley Museum - 4/9/11 |
The reactions were MORE than supportive (thank you all for believin'....don't stop believin'). We fretted over getting married right away. After all, Robert did propose on the day of our 5 year anniversary, so we thought "why wait." Others asked "why so soon" and teased that we were shot-gunning it. I have you know... I wear the same dress size now as the day we became engaged - love you all. Thanks for keeping it interesting.
The Devil is not in the Details
When I look back on it, the hardest part was 1) keeping cool enough to just sit and make a budget and 2) find a venue. I felt like it was "the chicken and the egg" problem. Which comes first!? We still didn't have a date set at this point. How could we have a date if we didn't know how much everything would or should cost, and how long it would take to save, let alone what would happen in our lives between that time, and how does it all come together! And the question... "when's the big day?" I still don't know how couples should answer that when they announce that they are engaged. How would they know?
Never the one for hesitation, I crunched, I searched, I fought, I cried. My mom crunched, she searched, she fought, she cried. Robert was with this through it all...poor guy. This was certainly those most frustrating experience so far. I felt like it wasn't supposed to be this way, so difficult, so emotional. I considered all extremes. My mom helped search for venues. While she was supportive of all the different places that I found, we had a hard time in the vision department. I'm a little bit of a rebel when it comes to her ideas, and we are so very different when it comes to style. Even if I ask, I'll go with the opposite of what she picked...it's practically subconcious, and I've had to apologize my entire life for it! I pick Virginia City and see a simple and plain pallet. She sees corsets, lace, ruffles and poof. She knows I'm allergic to ruffles and poof..... and this is how the dust cloud begins.
I considered City Hall, I considered eloping, I considered throwing it all out the window and just making it work and having a Cinderella wedding and figuring it all out later. But then tomorrow, came and so did logic and peace. These options might be right for others, but for Robert and I, none of those options were right for us. It's amazing how much energy went into this process and what can become of it quickly.
At about this point, my sweet bridesmaid Sarah (my best childhood friend, and girl who knows me best) sent me the following email: "Deep breaths, remember your mantra "I've already done the hardest part, I found my groom, the rest is just details":) and despite what you may have heard the devil is not in the details."
Guerillas and Penguin Suits
Why CAN'T you have a guerilla wedding!!!!? Oh goodness. I wanted sooo badly to get married in a random pretty meadow with maps for our guests that give them clues to the undisclosed location. Or not. But the logistics and all those silly laws just nixed that idea quickly. I'm perfectly fine with high-tailing it out of an impromptu location like some romantic movie, where there's a big chase, everyone is laughing, the bride miraculously never trips on her dress or breaks an ankle, and its all stars and banners. I seriously weighed in the cost of the fine for such an event, and it wasn't in the budget for so many reasons. So, we move on....
Here's what I found about searching for wedding venues. Poor planners, money rakers, corkage fees, and paying for too many forks to the left and right of my plate... I only need one please.
What we wanted was ease, to have fun, do our own thing, add our own style, our favorite people, and sprigs of our love sprinkled everywhere - rather than caterers in penguin suits, and blase over-used plans. Plus, I already got overzealous and bought nearly an entire receptions worth of vintage style plates. The venues didn't like this very much and wanted to charge more. Pffff!!!! I quickly rinsed off the bad taste in my mouth and moved on.
Wedding commercialism is so tiring and generic. We wanted a cost-effective way to have the wedding of our dreams, do something meaningful, use our resources and creativity, and really put forth a LOT of energy on what this day means to us, rather than get wrapped up into contracts and debt.
When the Planets Aligned
Call it what you want, but the planets finally aligned. Rather, we faced humility, self reflected, and humbled ourselves once again. We took it back to square one. What was the very minimum that one can do to have a beautiful ceremony and reception? Oh, we scrubbed and scrubbed until it was wedding no more. Can I ask again what's so wrong with a guerilla wedding!?
The Cutie in the Boonies
I can't really recall how we found this stumble-upon. I think the spark ignited when I called my dear friend at her non-profit and asked if she or her partners had any chairs that they could lend us for our guerilla wedding.
After the covert wedding idea didn't pan out, then I think we realized how easy it was to ask for help. We were willing to budget for fair market value (sans taxes and tiny print mystery fees) for the use of anything borrowed in order to enhance that organizations mission - it was a win,win - winner!! So, then the real hunt began: venue, food, chair rentals, etc. Who do we want to support who could supply these things?
And there she was! A cutie in the boonies, built by the most honorable men and women in our country.
A Town that Needs No Phones
There it was. Our venue!!! They had a great website, and better yet a great price. They could lend it to us because our parents are also veterans. It was gorgeous. When I called to get specs, it took quite longer than I anticipated to get a response from the contact there. After all, I was anxious, we were now only eleven months out (Gasp!) and I was worried that another bride would nab the space like all the other places that had been booked a year in advanced.So, I called the Chamber of Commerce to ask if they had any details and can help me get in touch with the Vet Hall. Accordingly, she set down the phone to check if there was anyone at the Vet Hall that I could speak with. It sounded like a screen door closed in the distance while I was on hold, and the Chamber came right back on the line with "I can't see her now, but I'll have her call you." A quick Google search for Foresthill, CA had me realize that this is a town that needs no phones. A quick shout out across the street will do just fine. This is our kind of town!
Stay tuned while I patch you in to the next phase of the wedding planning...
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| Main Street, Foresthill, CA |
